My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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