Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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