Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
