awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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