I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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