dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
