Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
