would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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