Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
