Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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