I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
