Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I love you.
Bad choice
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