have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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