i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
