great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
