hotel room ftw
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
