Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you mean i was at the winter classic?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
