You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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