I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
