Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Randomize
