Kiss
Puke
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
