You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
