omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Randomize