I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
