The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
