We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
