Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
