There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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