well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
