Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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