ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
