he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
