are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He felt like a one man threesome
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
