I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
