we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
