Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We are two peas in an std pod
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
