They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
