Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
