What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
