My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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