new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize