i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Bring me that man meat
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
