how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
