do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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