Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
