hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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