i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
