You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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