Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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