So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
