I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm at about main and main street
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
