I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
