does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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