i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
