I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
