The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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