Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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