so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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