I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
